[ Faith and loyalty mean everything to him. When there was no escape and death his only option, it was these ideals that stayed with him in his last stand against an insurmountable foe. It wasn't trust or hope but a leap of faith that instigated his fall. He turned his back on Heaven, the angels, and everything he ever believed in with nothing but his faith to clutch onto. So, when different iterations of the same man passed him by. Or when this Dean came at him angry and ready to fight. When he drew a line in the sand between them, his faith remained firm. It wasn't trust or some misguided hope that they'd ever be more than comrades. Faith was the bond that linked him to Dean and loyalty was the only logical outcome.
Castiel had faith in Dean. He had faith in Sam, and now, Jack too. That spark that started with Dean had grown. The feeling he doesn't know how to describe other than loyalty spread beyond its initial source. The same driving force to protect Sam and Jack blurred the line between friend and foe drawing out what should have stayed hidden. It wasn't his intention to hurt him and it was only catching the turmoil stirring within the soul that curbed the spark of anger and buried the angel back in its vessel. Regaining control was never easy but catching the look of defeat on Dean's face hastens his retreat back into the abyss allowing for logic to take over. ]
Tell me what happened.
[ He tells him, letting go of his arm. He doesn't want to hurt him. Not again. ]
[ Where to freaking start. What happened is that the brother he hasn't seen for five years got pulled here and he's got that same old feeling of failing him over and over. The fact that Lucifer's here too inside of him? Yeah, of course that would be how it is.
Glancing around their periphery is something that's so deeply-ingrained in him it's like habit now. He knows that fully powered, Cas can take care of anything likely to sneak up on them, but it doesn't settle that feeling of constantly feeling hunted. ]
When he first got here and told me... I put him in a circle of holy fire in the basement. It didn't hold him, man. This town? Holy fire or not, it can spring Lucifer from inside of those like it's nothin'.
[ And that's only the tip of the doom-shaped iceberg. ]
Sam's got a pretty good hold on him most of the time. Says Lucifer doesn't know yet that Jack's his kid. And Lucifer? He's been dreamwalking like it's no big thing. If he's doing that to us? I'd put money on the fact he can do that to Jack.
[ All of it is so messed up that it gives Dean a tension headache every time he thinks about it, and tries to work out what he can do about that. ]
You know what Lucifer's like. I know what Lucifer's like. He told Sam a bunch of crap that he bought into. You think Jack's gonna know the difference between what's true and what's Lucifer spinning his shit like a goddamn handmaiden?
[ Lifting a hand, he uses a finger and thumb to massage lightly at his temples. And if it covers his expression for a couple of seconds? That works too. ]
The second Lucifer finds out that Jack's his kid - and Sam says it's when, not if - we're all screwed.
[ Hand dropping away from his face again, he subconsciously returns it to rest on top of the gun he's got holstered at his side. ]
How powerful is Jack? If Lucifer gets to him, lies to him about how things really are, what the hell do we do? Keeping Jack away from the house, away from Sam and me, I don't know what else to do, Cas. Why would I invite him to come inside a goddamn snake pit with the biggest snake of all inside of Sam?
[ Holy fire doesn't work on him? The thought sends a chill down his spine. If they couldn't use holy fire then they had no means of trapping him if they needed to. Now, he understands Dean's churning turmoil. How long had he known? Did the others know? Either way, they needed to. He'd check in with them and tell them. ]
How is Sam doing? [ He asks, keeping up with Dean's explanation. ] A human mind isn't enough to keep out angels once they've granted us permission. I had Jimmy under when I took over. Even if he tried to fight me, I could easily overwhelm him. [ A disturbing thought, but one that remained true nonetheless. ] Sam is stronger, but so is Lucifer. He far surpasses me in every way. Whatever Sam is doing to keep him at bay, I doubt he can sustain it for long.
Dean. [ He locks eyes with him. ] Sam won't be able to hold him back for much longer.
[ Not exactly good news, but it was his best assessment of the situation as it stood and he wouldn't keep Dean in the dark about it. He must know by now, probably did know, even if he hadn't fully admitted it to himself. Eventually, Sam's will would break to Lucifer and they had to be ready for the fallout. ]
I'm afraid he's already paid a visit to Jack.[ He adds. It's the reason he's here in the first place, but it wasn't until this moment that he realized Dean had been kept in the dark too. ] Lucifer spoke to him in his dreams. Jack told me a similar story. They both seem to be holding up the same lie. Right now, Lucifer thinks Sam's Jack's father. But sooner or later the truth will come out.
I'm going to speak to Lucifer before that happens.
[ Before it all came to a crash, leaving Sam and Jack to deal with the aftermath. He intended to get ahead of it. Whatever fallout waited for them down the line, Castiel would make sure he stood in front of it all. He already had a plan. ]
I know what my brother's like, but I also know Jack. [ He holds Dean's gaze with a look that bespoke of his own unease. ] He was here before you. He showed me things about the future. I didn't know how to handle it then, but I'm not going to let him down this time. Him or Sam.
[ With his eyes locked on Dean, watching him closely, he can see the tightness around his eyes begin to spread. The turmoil starts to coil inside him once more as he keeps on talking, working himself up, thoughts running faster than he could say them aloud. ]
Dean. [ He finally cuts in. ] You keep thinking about this in isolated terms. Sam isn't on his own and neither is Jack. You can keep them separated but you don't need to drive them away. Driving others away is what led me down a path I wish I never took. I'm not going to watch the same thing happen to them. Not if I can stop it.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Castiel had faith in Dean. He had faith in Sam, and now, Jack too. That spark that started with Dean had grown. The feeling he doesn't know how to describe other than loyalty spread beyond its initial source. The same driving force to protect Sam and Jack blurred the line between friend and foe drawing out what should have stayed hidden. It wasn't his intention to hurt him and it was only catching the turmoil stirring within the soul that curbed the spark of anger and buried the angel back in its vessel. Regaining control was never easy but catching the look of defeat on Dean's face hastens his retreat back into the abyss allowing for logic to take over. ]
Tell me what happened.
[ He tells him, letting go of his arm. He doesn't want to hurt him. Not again. ]
no subject
Glancing around their periphery is something that's so deeply-ingrained in him it's like habit now. He knows that fully powered, Cas can take care of anything likely to sneak up on them, but it doesn't settle that feeling of constantly feeling hunted. ]
When he first got here and told me... I put him in a circle of holy fire in the basement. It didn't hold him, man. This town? Holy fire or not, it can spring Lucifer from inside of those like it's nothin'.
[ And that's only the tip of the doom-shaped iceberg. ]
Sam's got a pretty good hold on him most of the time. Says Lucifer doesn't know yet that Jack's his kid. And Lucifer? He's been dreamwalking like it's no big thing. If he's doing that to us? I'd put money on the fact he can do that to Jack.
[ All of it is so messed up that it gives Dean a tension headache every time he thinks about it, and tries to work out what he can do about that. ]
You know what Lucifer's like. I know what Lucifer's like. He told Sam a bunch of crap that he bought into. You think Jack's gonna know the difference between what's true and what's Lucifer spinning his shit like a goddamn handmaiden?
[ Lifting a hand, he uses a finger and thumb to massage lightly at his temples. And if it covers his expression for a couple of seconds? That works too. ]
The second Lucifer finds out that Jack's his kid - and Sam says it's when, not if - we're all screwed.
[ Hand dropping away from his face again, he subconsciously returns it to rest on top of the gun he's got holstered at his side. ]
How powerful is Jack? If Lucifer gets to him, lies to him about how things really are, what the hell do we do? Keeping Jack away from the house, away from Sam and me, I don't know what else to do, Cas. Why would I invite him to come inside a goddamn snake pit with the biggest snake of all inside of Sam?
no subject
How is Sam doing? [ He asks, keeping up with Dean's explanation. ] A human mind isn't enough to keep out angels once they've granted us permission. I had Jimmy under when I took over. Even if he tried to fight me, I could easily overwhelm him. [ A disturbing thought, but one that remained true nonetheless. ] Sam is stronger, but so is Lucifer. He far surpasses me in every way. Whatever Sam is doing to keep him at bay, I doubt he can sustain it for long.
Dean. [ He locks eyes with him. ] Sam won't be able to hold him back for much longer.
[ Not exactly good news, but it was his best assessment of the situation as it stood and he wouldn't keep Dean in the dark about it. He must know by now, probably did know, even if he hadn't fully admitted it to himself. Eventually, Sam's will would break to Lucifer and they had to be ready for the fallout. ]
I'm afraid he's already paid a visit to Jack.[ He adds. It's the reason he's here in the first place, but it wasn't until this moment that he realized Dean had been kept in the dark too. ] Lucifer spoke to him in his dreams. Jack told me a similar story. They both seem to be holding up the same lie. Right now, Lucifer thinks Sam's Jack's father. But sooner or later the truth will come out.
I'm going to speak to Lucifer before that happens.
[ Before it all came to a crash, leaving Sam and Jack to deal with the aftermath. He intended to get ahead of it. Whatever fallout waited for them down the line, Castiel would make sure he stood in front of it all. He already had a plan. ]
I know what my brother's like, but I also know Jack. [ He holds Dean's gaze with a look that bespoke of his own unease. ] He was here before you. He showed me things about the future. I didn't know how to handle it then, but I'm not going to let him down this time. Him or Sam.
[ With his eyes locked on Dean, watching him closely, he can see the tightness around his eyes begin to spread. The turmoil starts to coil inside him once more as he keeps on talking, working himself up, thoughts running faster than he could say them aloud. ]
Dean. [ He finally cuts in. ] You keep thinking about this in isolated terms. Sam isn't on his own and neither is Jack. You can keep them separated but you don't need to drive them away. Driving others away is what led me down a path I wish I never took. I'm not going to watch the same thing happen to them. Not if I can stop it.