[Sam's had one before — one he picked out himself, back in Stanford days. Back when he had a pretty lousy apartment, up until Jess was open to moving in together in a better place. They bought the cheapest table money could afford at Walmart. Ha.
It was a great table, always covered in plants, keys, and mail. He's not sure they ever actually ate at it.]
A lot better than a half-table in some seedy motel, huh?
Not a cigarette butt or questionable stain to be seen.
[The self-doubt is so heavy, in the back of his mind.
(Why would they let him sit at this table? Why are they being nice to him, after everything? Why is Dean acting like this can be normal? Aren't they worried he's going to lose it? Aren't they distrusting? Shouldn't he just go back to the basement, instead of letting Dean's words motivate him to stay?)
But it's an honest to god dinner table, and Dean's smiling a little bit, and he couldn't bring himself to retrace his steps back into the dark even if he tried.]
no subject
... Yeah.
[Sam's had one before — one he picked out himself, back in Stanford days. Back when he had a pretty lousy apartment, up until Jess was open to moving in together in a better place. They bought the cheapest table money could afford at Walmart. Ha.
It was a great table, always covered in plants, keys, and mail. He's not sure they ever actually ate at it.]
A lot better than a half-table in some seedy motel, huh?
Not a cigarette butt or questionable stain to be seen.
[The self-doubt is so heavy, in the back of his mind.
(Why would they let him sit at this table? Why are they being nice to him, after everything? Why is Dean acting like this can be normal? Aren't they worried he's going to lose it? Aren't they distrusting? Shouldn't he just go back to the basement, instead of letting Dean's words motivate him to stay?)
But it's an honest to god dinner table, and Dean's smiling a little bit, and he couldn't bring himself to retrace his steps back into the dark even if he tried.]